What motivates you to change?

So I had to be real with myself about a few things...I tend to stress about things and feel as though I'm not doing enough when that couldn't be further from the truth. I pack my plate full of responsibilities and get upset with myself for being overwhelmed. I feel like I should just be able to handle it. Sometimes I engage in behaviors that are counterproductive maybe as a mechanism to protect my own ego from from being bruised when I "fail" to meet these ridiculously high expectations of myself. This in turn can affect your motivation, especially when your motivation rest extrinsically, or outside of yourself. A lot of people place their "successes" on external things and focus less on the intrinsic, or internal, motivation process variables. Behavior works this way no matter what it is. How you act in relationships, getting that new promotion at work, even how you go about obtaining fitness. Most persons look at goals they have set, no matter how unrealistic, and feel defeated if they can't reach a predetermined level of success. We are all guilty of it. True behavior change happens when that tangible goal of finding a man/woman, getting that new position, or losing those pounds doesn't determine success but rather how you feel inside. You focus on how much you have gained in your pursuit of your goal. You internalize the process and make it apart of your daily routine ( making daily affirmations to better yourself, putting 110% in on the job, or making better food choices that push you towards a healthier lifestyle). I could get into the method of how behavior is shaped, but I assume your here looking for fitness tips. So here's my tidbits for today: (1)Set realistic goals. Look at your current lifestyle and commit to making small changes in your eating habits. When you set goals too high, it affects your self-efficacy. That is, your belief of actual accomplishment is affected. (2) Determine what "success" is for you. Don't follow the masses and let them decide what is the best mode of transportation to your weight goals. (3) Look at every bit of progress as a step closer to your goal. Don't look at it in terms of how much or how far you have to go but instead of how far you have come.(4) Be REAL with yourself!!! You can't expect to lose weight by having "cheat meals" everyday!! Don't expect to lose 30 pounds in one month and keep it off!! Behavior change is a gradual process and no one gets it right on the first try. Maybe not even the 2nd. But the goal should be to take a little bit away from each attempt and build towards making it better. (5) And finally, realize that it takes time. It took time to accumulate 10, 20, 40 pounds! It's going to take time to take it off!!